Pastor's Column for April 18, 2021

Walter Pasela has been a parishioner at St. Leo’s for some time and I saw an article about him which said that he just turned 100 years old and so his family & friends celebrated his birthday with a 100 car parade! He is a veteran from WWII & a member of the American Legion. So this is just a shout-out to Walter to wish him a belated happy birthday & to let him know we’re still hearing about him & keeping him in our prayers.

Thanks to all those who made our Easter liturgies so festive with the beautiful flower arrangements in the church & with the uplifting music throughout Holy Week. We are all grateful that so many use their gifts for the good of the parish and the glory of God. 

I’m having a hard time this week coming up with new material for this column so I thought I’d share some levity with you since the Easter Time of the year calls us to be joyful in the new life God offers to us. So with that, I’ll include here some “Paraprosdokians” which are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected. Winston Churchill loved them. So here are some examples for you...

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

3. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

4. War does not determine who is is right, only who is left. 

5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

6. They begin the evening news with “Good Evening,” then proceed to tell you why it isn’t. 

7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research.

8. In filling in an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify:” I put “Doctor.”

9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

11. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. 

12. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

13. I’m supposed to respect my elders but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now. 

14. I’m not arguing with you. I’m explaining why you are wrong.

And here’s one from a child...

A pastor was giving a children’s sermon on priest’s clothing and asked: “Why do you think I wear this collar?” One kid answered: “Because it kills ticks & fleas up to 30 days?”